Awhile ago I made the difficult choice of not going on a mission. It came in a very sacred and personal way, but I felt like I need to share my story:
I had one year left of school, and I would be turning 21 within a year. In deciding what I was going to do with my life I thought I should pray about a mission. I've never had the desire to go, my patriarchal blessing says nothings about it, and the thought of going scared me to death. But I thought I should ask if it was God's will and if He wanted me to go, I would.
So I prayed. The answer I received was something I didn't expect- "ask me later." I was confused as to why He wouldn't tell me now, and I soon I found out. In October 2012 President Monson announced the age change for missionaries. As all my friends began to announce their decision to serve, I felt that this was when I needed to pray again, so I did. I didn't really receive an answer, so I kept praying, and waiting, and the pull for missionaries grew. I sat in the background feeling confused. Why didn't I have the desire to serve? Why hasn't Heavenly Father told me that's what I needed to do? The apostles said that young women were not obligated to serve, and I knew that, but I felt like a lot of people didn't. I felt pressured. People asked if I planned on going. I was single and almost done with my degree. Everything pointed in that direction. Why wouldn't I go? I had a strong testimony and the desire to bring others to the gospel. I reread my patriarchal blessing and my answer came.
I had a mission, but I was not to be called and set apart. I was not to receive a name tag and travel hundreds to thousands of miles away for 18 months. My mission was the temple. My mission was not to bring people to baptism, but rather to the temple; to receive celestial blessings and to be sealed with their families forever. I had already been called and set apart in Heaven. My name tag was engraven in my spirit. It would be a lifetime calling. My mission was different and that was okay.
I felt peace, I felt comfort, and more than ever I felt the desire to serve in the way I was supposed to serve. I have yet to go through the temple, and I don't attend as well as I should, but I realize now that everything I have ever done has lead me to this point (especially the prompting to receive my degree in the field of marriage and family).
I still struggle with the decision from time to time and have to remind myself of the answer and path that I feel is right for me. Recently I heard a quote from Sister Dalton saying that "returned missionaries make some of the best mothers." This really hit home to me and I had a hard time with feeling that this choice I made would deny my children certain blessings motherhood could bring. And others telling me that those who have served missions are so much more faithful, making me feel like my own testimony would struggle because of this decision.
No. There are other means by which I can learn to be a great mother, strengthen my testimony, and gain blessings. Don't let others tell you that decisions you have made with the guidance of the Spirit will deny you blessings and opportunities. To the sisters who have received similar answers, we will all be great mothers, we will all maintain our strong testimonies, and we will continue to be directed by the spirit. If you have felt that a mission isn't right for you, that is okay. I urge you to find what your mission is and strive to fulfill your potential that way.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Saturday, April 28, 2012
BYU-Idaho Round 4
Well here I am at BYU-I going at it again for the fourth (yup, that's 4 semesters... I don't know how I've done it either) time. By this time it's kinda just fallen into routine. Before it was home-sickness combined with excitement, but I find myself just thinking "another day in the life of Stephanie." People ask if I like the moving back and forth every three months, and my answer- no. But I know this is where I'm supposed to be, and this is what I need to do, and so far it's worked out, so we gotta do what we gotta do.
So you think that once it's your fourth semester life is going to be fan-freaking-tastic? nope. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it's true. I remember when I was a freshman, thinking life was going to be so much more exciting when I had been here longer. Okay there's some truth to that, but for the most part- nah.
The good-
1. You know how everything goes- the quickest way to get from here to there, the best places to eat, how much you really can procrastinate before it kicks ya in the behind.
2. You have a greater appreciation for things- Devotional is the best part of your week. Free food is a life-savor, $18 extra on your tax return is the difference between fast food and home-made chicken.
3. You feel really popular- You know practically everyone in your ward (granted you return to the same place) you see someone you know on campus everyday. Friday nights are never contemplated on what to do.
4. You get to take the classes you want to take!- this is probably the best of all. Stupid generals....
The bad-
1. It gets really hard- yeah generals are kinda boring, but they are really easy. If only school got easier as you got older. I guess they think you get smarter or something... ??
2. All your friends start to get married (I know I'm really mean for putting this in "the bad" category, but this is a blog, which gives me permission to be selfish -good for them, bad for me)- You are then surrounded by wedding plans, engagement rings, and super cute pictures that you envy all the time...!
3. The stress- Yes, this gets it's own category. Stress about the future, classes, work, friends, boys, and everything in-between. Those of you freshman- Sorry hun, but you haven't experienced stress yet.
4. You really don't care- I mean, I am really really grateful for my education and I want to take full advantage of it, I know this is huge time in my life, and I am sooo blessed. But there are little things that you don't care about anymore, like- what I eat, what my hair looks like, whether or not your roommate likes you, or if that boy in at church noticed your new outfit. Honestly, I just want to pass (hopefully with a scholarship), someday get married, and still have some friends by the time I graduate.
Okay, college really is better than I'm making it sound right now, you've gotta give me a break, I've been sick and super stressed out, so the "bad" has been exemplified this week. I LOVE college, and to be honest, would rather be here than at home. There's definitely never a dull moment, and I don't think the words "I'm bored" have ever been spoken here. Some days I just wish I could go back to the days when I was super excited about everything, and my classes didn't consume every little second of my time.
These are my roommates-
I love these girls so much! We get along so well, and have a blast! This really will be a good semester.
So you think that once it's your fourth semester life is going to be fan-freaking-tastic? nope. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it's true. I remember when I was a freshman, thinking life was going to be so much more exciting when I had been here longer. Okay there's some truth to that, but for the most part- nah.
The good-
1. You know how everything goes- the quickest way to get from here to there, the best places to eat, how much you really can procrastinate before it kicks ya in the behind.
2. You have a greater appreciation for things- Devotional is the best part of your week. Free food is a life-savor, $18 extra on your tax return is the difference between fast food and home-made chicken.
3. You feel really popular- You know practically everyone in your ward (granted you return to the same place) you see someone you know on campus everyday. Friday nights are never contemplated on what to do.
4. You get to take the classes you want to take!- this is probably the best of all. Stupid generals....
The bad-
1. It gets really hard- yeah generals are kinda boring, but they are really easy. If only school got easier as you got older. I guess they think you get smarter or something... ??
2. All your friends start to get married (I know I'm really mean for putting this in "the bad" category, but this is a blog, which gives me permission to be selfish -good for them, bad for me)- You are then surrounded by wedding plans, engagement rings, and super cute pictures that you envy all the time...!
3. The stress- Yes, this gets it's own category. Stress about the future, classes, work, friends, boys, and everything in-between. Those of you freshman- Sorry hun, but you haven't experienced stress yet.
4. You really don't care- I mean, I am really really grateful for my education and I want to take full advantage of it, I know this is huge time in my life, and I am sooo blessed. But there are little things that you don't care about anymore, like- what I eat, what my hair looks like, whether or not your roommate likes you, or if that boy in at church noticed your new outfit. Honestly, I just want to pass (hopefully with a scholarship), someday get married, and still have some friends by the time I graduate.
Okay, college really is better than I'm making it sound right now, you've gotta give me a break, I've been sick and super stressed out, so the "bad" has been exemplified this week. I LOVE college, and to be honest, would rather be here than at home. There's definitely never a dull moment, and I don't think the words "I'm bored" have ever been spoken here. Some days I just wish I could go back to the days when I was super excited about everything, and my classes didn't consume every little second of my time.
These are my roommates-
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| Lorna, Pou, Katelyn, Emmi, Me, and Tina |
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Movie Theater Woes
Item #1 on my bucket list- check! See a midnight showing of a movie. HUNGER GAMES!!! The movie was AMAZING! Loved the whole thing- wait, scratch that, I loved almost the whole thing, and I'll tell ya why. Why do I always get stuck in the theaters with that weirdo person that thinks they're the only one there and have to make cat calls, shout, and laugh hysterically at the parts that I consider "laugh to yourself" parts??
This kid (probably like 16 or so, all by himself btw... weird if you ask me...) sits literally three seats away from me. And then the movie starts and the whole time he kept making loud comments and yelling things like 'oh yeahhh!' 'oh snappp' and laughing when Effie said something that is totally her personality. Okay, seriously, half-way through I wanted to look at him and tell him to shut up!
Also, one of my pet-peeves is when people clap at the end of a movie. Do you realize how retarded you look when you're clapping at a screen!? I bet you don't clap at the end of a movie when you're on your couch at home. Am I right? Now that would look really dumb. You usually clap when you want to show someone that you think they did a good job, and liked the presentation. Now that would be appropriate when the person that showed the performance was actually there! There really isn't a point in giving a round of applause to someone that is probably across the country. It's like you're a little baby and you're clapping to give yourself satisfaction, because you think it's fun, or whatever... Weirdo's.
This kid (probably like 16 or so, all by himself btw... weird if you ask me...) sits literally three seats away from me. And then the movie starts and the whole time he kept making loud comments and yelling things like 'oh yeahhh!' 'oh snappp' and laughing when Effie said something that is totally her personality. Okay, seriously, half-way through I wanted to look at him and tell him to shut up!
Also, one of my pet-peeves is when people clap at the end of a movie. Do you realize how retarded you look when you're clapping at a screen!? I bet you don't clap at the end of a movie when you're on your couch at home. Am I right? Now that would look really dumb. You usually clap when you want to show someone that you think they did a good job, and liked the presentation. Now that would be appropriate when the person that showed the performance was actually there! There really isn't a point in giving a round of applause to someone that is probably across the country. It's like you're a little baby and you're clapping to give yourself satisfaction, because you think it's fun, or whatever... Weirdo's.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Cream Cheese
Do you ever wish you liked a food that you don't like? That's how I feel about cream cheese. I don't like cream cheese, but I wish I did. I love bagels and I don't mind them with the flavored cream cheese, but the plain kind I can't stand. I wish I liked cream cheese, I feel like my life would be more satisfactory if I did. Am I missing out on anything?
Monday, February 27, 2012
3 Month Timeline
December- Finals, roommate goodbyes, Christmas
January- Work (see below post)
February- Trip up to Rexburg with cousin, Camille, more work
Life of Stephanie in a nutshell. Hope you enjoyed it :)
If you'd like to know more hit her up with a text and she'd be happy to get with you as soon as she can :)
January- Work (see below post)
February- Trip up to Rexburg with cousin, Camille, more work
Life of Stephanie in a nutshell. Hope you enjoyed it :)
If you'd like to know more hit her up with a text and she'd be happy to get with you as soon as she can :)
Stephanie, CPhT at your service
I decided it was time for an update.... What's on my mind today? I'd like to say rainbows, and butterflies, but unfortunately, Stephanie doesn't think about rainbows and butterflies; at least not today. What she does think about is insurance. Yep, that's the topic of today's blog update of almost 3 months. I'm going to rant about insurance, and this isn't just about insurance, sure I'll give car insurance, home insurance, and life insurance a break, since I'm relatively unaffiliated with them for right now. No, the thing that I'm talking about is MEDICAL insurance.
For those of you that don't know, I work at a pharmacy as a Pharmacy Technician. Yes, I do in fact have a fancy acronym that comes with that job, in case you'd like to know. My name is Stephanie Hubbard, CPht :) haha nbd. And for those of you that don't know what January and Pharmacies have in common is A LOT of frustration and headaches! Okay, well I'm exaggerating a bit, but really, if you knew, you'd feel bad for the old, wrinkled pharmacist that's just trying to make sure we don't kill you. So give us a break.
I want you to practice this phrase in your head "I hate Insurance, I hate Insurance, I hate Insurance..." Good job, keep doing it and it'll settle in.
Okay, okay I'll give you an explanation- January = first of the year = new insurance = a pain in the butt! Why, you ask? Well insurance companies like to play doctor and tell you what drugs you should take and which ones you shouldn't, which makes no sense at all, because they just sit in a little cube-y (I don't know how you would spell that...) staring at their computer with one of those phone headsets people at the fast food drive-thru's where. (Want a little piece of advice? I think working for an insurance company, especially answering phones, would be the worst job ever). Oh, and then they say- "Oh you're taking this $600 medication, and if you don't you'll die? Well, here's what we'll do- At the first of the year we'll have you pay a $3,000 deductible, and when you pay that off, we'll pay the WHOLE thing!" What a deal. Great stuff insurance...
So anyway, yeah you should be grateful when you don't have to pay the $40 that it costs to get a simple antibiotic, but for us pharmacy folks sake, please, please, please be understanding when it takes 15 minutes longer than you'd like to get your prescription, because honestly, we feel bad charging you a fortune to help you feel better, and have 200+ other patients we're helping at the same time.
Thank you much
For those of you that don't know, I work at a pharmacy as a Pharmacy Technician. Yes, I do in fact have a fancy acronym that comes with that job, in case you'd like to know. My name is Stephanie Hubbard, CPht :) haha nbd. And for those of you that don't know what January and Pharmacies have in common is A LOT of frustration and headaches! Okay, well I'm exaggerating a bit, but really, if you knew, you'd feel bad for the old, wrinkled pharmacist that's just trying to make sure we don't kill you. So give us a break.
I want you to practice this phrase in your head "I hate Insurance, I hate Insurance, I hate Insurance..." Good job, keep doing it and it'll settle in.
Okay, okay I'll give you an explanation- January = first of the year = new insurance = a pain in the butt! Why, you ask? Well insurance companies like to play doctor and tell you what drugs you should take and which ones you shouldn't, which makes no sense at all, because they just sit in a little cube-y (I don't know how you would spell that...) staring at their computer with one of those phone headsets people at the fast food drive-thru's where. (Want a little piece of advice? I think working for an insurance company, especially answering phones, would be the worst job ever). Oh, and then they say- "Oh you're taking this $600 medication, and if you don't you'll die? Well, here's what we'll do- At the first of the year we'll have you pay a $3,000 deductible, and when you pay that off, we'll pay the WHOLE thing!" What a deal. Great stuff insurance...
So anyway, yeah you should be grateful when you don't have to pay the $40 that it costs to get a simple antibiotic, but for us pharmacy folks sake, please, please, please be understanding when it takes 15 minutes longer than you'd like to get your prescription, because honestly, we feel bad charging you a fortune to help you feel better, and have 200+ other patients we're helping at the same time.
Thank you much
Saturday, November 12, 2011
The Swagger of 306
One of the joys of being a college student is the adventures of having roommates. Good adventures and bad adventures. But luckily this semester there have been many many more good adventures than bad. And that is one (no, probably, the only) reason I'm sad that the semester is getting close to the end. I absolutely adore my roomies :) My wonderfully talented friend Anna, took pictures for us last week and they are adorable! Here are a few-
I love these girls. We are absolutely crazy. And seriously the funniest things are said in our apartment.
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| We do a lot of laughing in our apartment |
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| I think this shows our personalities pretty well :) |
Brief glimpse of our quote wall:
"Oh my gosh, you're stalking a dead person!?" -Stephanie
"Does anyone have alcohol?" -Lorna
"I wanna be Asian" -Ashley
"I just snotted on myself" -Sheri
"We're done!!!" (She's the Man) -Elyse
"It's sooooo beautiful out here!" -Jessica
Now I realize these aren't funny to you because you don't understand the context of the situation, nor were there in the moment. But it's a crazy life in 306 and let's just say that sleep is hard to come by :)
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